Feminine Feist August 23, 2007
Posted by Jason Keath in Creative Writing, Life, Poem, Poetry, Writing.trackback
An evolution of language
Melts into her mouth
Drunken destruction fades
Escaping through her shouts
I sink like sand for safety
Feeling beaten in this bout
She looks for a chance to crave me
Before I drift beneath her drought
© 2007 Argonaut
Your words get right inside me. So strong!
Wow, this is a very nice blog….will visit regular…
Your poems are so unassuming and effortless, that’s what makes them special.. like Susan said above, they go straight inside the readers heart so effortlessly..
Thanks for your comments on my page… :)
Thanks for your comment :)
Your poetry is quite nice :)
Jason,
Your poetry is great…you are gifted.
Nochipa
WHOA – BEAUTIFUL! It packs a wonderful whallop!
Wonderful in terms of serial semantics. It does pack a lot indeed. It’s both sensitive to the subject and language itself, without turning all meta-poetry. So, that means perfect :)
“I sink like sand for safety
Feeling beaten in this bout”
That’s really good. The rhymes were not necessarily necessary but somehow work in a modern way – or a new take on the elegy.
I just read this poem after posting one in my own blog –> http://momentarysolutions.wordpress.com/2007/08/24/sunday-is-breaking/
I’m currently having an ‘OMG’ moment…
I like how in this poem feminine feist can also be tangled into feast or famine (if you play with the word sounds)
I really love the way this one flows. Keep it up!
WOW! Powerful, very well done. I like your style.
A novel way of saying it in a poem. Words aptly chosen to make a clear statement and I like the rhythm, particularly where the poem rolled to a halt. It is where the statement of the poem spoke the loudest.
I wish you well ~ Jeques
Very beautiful and sensual.
I love the last movement. I’ll look in on your blog regularly. Thanks for the comment on my poem. It’s obvious you enjoy words and using them to paint.
Linda